Thursday, November 10, 2005


I love projects. Work projects, hot-rod projects, bike projects, home projects, self-improvement projects… all sorts of projects.

What I don’t like about some projects is that they often involve relying on another person, persons, or even a company to meet the project goals.

Why? Well, I’ve spent a good portion of the day chasing down and ‘beating up’ our D&B folks in an effort to be sure that we get this file reworked and ready by morning. I don’t mind doing the follow-up, but there’s a part of me that says had “I” made this kind of mistake, I would have been calling/emailing the customer, hourly if necessary, so they never had to wonder where things stood.

I did manage to knock a number of other things off my plate today though, which felt very good, as always! I could have knocked off a few more things if I hadn’t had to keep chasing down the D&B folks for updates.

Enough about projects. You may remember, from my post yesterday, that I mentioned a person I haven’t seen, or spoken to, in about 30 years made contact with me through the blog.

Gabbie and I were a real item, back in the day, and I was heartbroken when she told me she’d found “another guy” while I was overseas. (In all fairness to her… the last few months before I came home I wasn’t exactly the verbose writer I am today… I was pretty depressed and my letters were probably pretty sparse) However, I had nothing but surprise, joy and happiness in my heart as I read her email that explained how she’d come to be looking for me.

It seems a patient of hers in the hospital, from my home town, told her years ago that I had died. He was mistaken of course and was most likely thinking of my Dad. Well, she decided to ‘google’ me and see if she could find out what had happened. That search brought her to the blog.

In a ‘catch up’ email she told me she’s been married, happily, to that same “another guy” for 30 years. That they’d raised two great children, a son and daughter, and in general has had a pretty decent and happy life.

I found myself with none of that old bitterness, but instead, found a fondness for her still in my heart, and that I’m honestly glad that she’s found happiness.

I suppose if I was alone, had what I thought was a miserable life and had not found some happiness of my own, I might have hung on to a bit of that bitterness, but I’d like to think not.

I’ve “lived” these past 30 years or so, really lived, following almost every dream I’ve ever had, not looking backwards, but instead always looking forward. Falling down a lot, but always getting up again, dusting myself off and starting again.

I really don’t have any regrets, and to say I did, well it just wouldn’t be true. She and I will probably always have a place in our hearts for one another I suppose. Young love is like that, pretty intense and the memories can last a lifetime.

With that said though, neither of us is wishing for what once was, but instead, happy we shared what we did. Discovered how to love, and be loved, unconditionally.

I don’t know if I would have had that gift, to share with Maryan, had I not known Gabbie.

The other thing with young love, especially when you’re separated by oceans and continents, it can get well, idealized maybe. At least there’s a danger of that happening while you’re apart. It’s easy to idealize a person who isn’t 3D, and right in front of you, if you’re not careful you can find yourself in love with the ‘idea’ of the person, and not the person.

I don’t think that happened in our case, I’m now, and always have been too rooted in reality for that. We loved the people we were then. I doubt she's the same as she was then, I know for sure I'm not!

Instead, now, I remember the good times we had, and I’ve all but forgotten any ‘bad times’ there might have been.

I believe it was Mark Twain who said “The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated” in a cable to the American press after his obituary had been mistakenly published. I’m glad to be alive, but happy also that my death was mistakenly reported.

The day ended on an up note project-wise as well. The D&B folks called right at the end of the day and said they were uploading the corrected file to their FTP site. I’m downloading it now so it’ll be ready when I get to work in the morning. With any luck at all I’ll have everything prepared by noon, one of the other team members can run her process tomorrow afternoon, and I can run the POL over the weekend.

If that all comes together, we’ll be 100% on target come Monday morning!

As always, thanks for stopping by, and especially for leaving me your thoughts as well.


Spirit Of Owl said...

Great post Bill. I love projects when they're going well - but tend to get very anxious and stressed very quickly when they're not. !!

As for young love, I had a girlfriend 30 years ago or so too. We used to walk hand in hand home from school. I'd take her to the end of her garden, and we'd give each other a little kiss goodbye. Ah, but it all went wrong ... when we turned five! LOL We left nursery and went to different primary schools!

That's a true story. :sigh: :D

It's pretty cool that that part of your life has been reconnected with you. Although clearly you're not going to have been stressing about it every day - you have far too much that's strong and positive in you and in your life for that - it's obvious that, for you and Gabbie, your relationship was something profound and deep. I'm actually moved to read that, no matter how happy you both are now, that relationship still has a place in your hearts.

No_Newz said...

How neat to be thought of so many years later! I'm glad you were able to reconnect. Must be weird to be thought dead. I'm glad you aren't! :)
Good luck with your projects!
Lois Lane

Jada's Gigi said...

Liked this post and really liked the one on connections. I was not a person who make many deep connections in my life but I have learned quite a bit from my husband. Over these past 30 yrs I have actually had some fairly strong friendships develop. I like to think I have grown into the kind of person others want to feel connected to. Still learning though...:)
Glad you aren't really dead. :)

Bill said...

Spirit - Yeah.. and they always seem to have at least 'one' moment where they head south... even if they recover quickly!

I've been thinking about 'reconnects' and this has certainly been a year full of them for me.

I think, thay it's possible to hold a place in your heart for folks, if you want to. It's not always easy, in fact, many times it's simply easier to 'close the door'.

Lois - Yes it is neat! Strange to be thought dead too... but then again I always wanted an excuse to use that old Mark Twain line! :)

I'm glad I'm not dead too!

Gigi - Thank you, and welcome.

I've discovered that I've forged some strong relationships as well. As I mentioned to Spirit, it's been one of those years where I've just been seeing/talking to old friends, and it's been a very wonderful experience.