Monday, May 02, 2005

I wrote this several years ago....

I’m about to post something I wrote for a friend of mine, it’s hard to believe it’s been six years now, after he’d passed away. When we were in our late teens we were always running hard together. We partied hard, chased the girls ‘til they caught us, thrashed on rides... seems we were *always* working on that old 'Scout'!.... in general just had fun…

We had a motorcycle accident in May of 1971, early in the morning of May 6th, to be exact. We’d been out celebrating his birthday, but, the way the evening ended, it was touch and go if either of us would ever see another one.

As things happen, we both healed up fine over the months that followed, yet we drifted apart after I went in the military later that same year. We ‘moved on’ I guess, but whenever we’d run into one another we’d still have a great time, drinkin beers, laughing and catching up.

I moved in 1989, and didn’t see him much after that, then moved again in 1993 to North Carolina, further still, and my return visits just never had us in the same place.

In 1999, April 27th, I got a letter from my mother. In it was Bud’s obituary. I don’t know how to express what I felt that day. Sorrow for certain, but like I’d been cheated out of saying goodbye. That others knew he was dying and just never felt the need to tell me...

As I sat there feeling bad and more than a little sorry he was gone... I swear I could hear his voice... with the three words he’d been saying since we were kids... When ever there was any kind of problem, Bud would step up and say “Not to worry”. I recall it meaning he ‘had a plan’, and usually, eventually, he did fix whatever was the problem…

So Bud… This is for you.

For Merle ‘Buddy’ Smith (written 4-27-1999)


Thought we’d live forever
There’d always be, another time, to get together.

Time passed by it seems
Working on, so many dreams.

Marriage, Jobs, Careers, Toys
I always felt though, we were still boys.

Your birthday back in ‘71
Bonded us, for me, as though we were one.

On that day, no matter where, or with who
My thoughts were always with you.

That night, so busted up and broken
For livin’, was all we were hopin’.

All these years, good times and bad
I’ve never forgotten the fun we’d had.

Summer nights spent sleepin in the sand
Life and living was never quite so grand.

You were a good man my friend
Though now your journey is at its end.

We’ll meet again – though I’m in no hurry
I’ll remember always your words “Not to Worry”.


Firehawk said...


That was a touching story. It's strange when you think of someone who's gone off to the clearing at the end of the road, and they still seem so real and vital to you. It seems like time can't have passed, but it has, maybe a lot of time. I think you always remember that sick, uncertain feeling low in your belly when you find out someone you've been close to isn't ever coming around anymore...I just sat there and was maudlin for a moment, but it's over, and I'm glad you put such a personal post up.

By the way, thanks for putting my blog on as a link. I'm honored.

Look forward to your next installment.

Bill said...

Firehawk - Again, thanks, I'm glad you liked it. That it touched you was the point, that it was only momentary is perfect.

Re: the link, you're welcome, I enjoy your posts, each one makes me think and that's always a good thing!

erin said...

I agree.. This is a very touching story. Losing someone who's held a place in your life is never easy.. even when there is the expectation that affords you the time to prepare. When it comes abruptly.. a sudden death, a letter out of the blue.. I can understand completely the feeling of being cheated out of goodbye..

I wanted to tell you that I had put the comments back up, but you already know that so I will thank you for the link and for stopping by and leaving a few words behind instead. With the addtion of Code, Code World and Hawk Circle I have two more examples of what I want my writing to be when it grows up.

I'm sorry about the length of this. I had not intended to write War and Peace..

7:06 PM

Posted to I wrote this several years ago....
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Bill said...

Thanks Erin, Your writing is just fine *now*... I wish mine had been half as good as yours, when I was your age!

You're welcome, I'm glad you put the comments back up, and that you stopped by here.

I've got a couple other pieces I'll be posting in the next day or so.

About the length of your comments, write as much, or as little as you want!

Cylithria™ said...

Simply Beautiful, your friend and your words of him!!

Bill said...

Cyli - thank you, I'm pleased the words I chose conveyed my sentiments... and, thanks for stopping by!